This morning I watched a cat stroll across my yard as if it owned the place, and I couldn’t help but smile. I’ve always loved cats, not because they’re cute or fluffy, but because they could be as naked as the top of your great uncle’s dome and still believe they’re the hottest thing on four paws.
You know you’ve spent too much time in a party store when you can quote every song of the god awful playlist by heart.
“Sometimes, when a 7 hour work day, homework, and housework piggyback on 1 cup of caffeine and 3 hours of sleep, it ain’t pretty.”
Cost of a pair of bluetooth earbuds for your new iPhone 5c: $50. Cost of the iPhone 5c: $200. The look on a guy who just realized pizza and spicy ramen can be combined: priceless.
You know you’ve worked at a party store too long when the highlight of your morning consists of refilling balloons and singing “holey, holey, holey” to the damaged ones.
There will come a day you will talk to yourself, not because you’re crazy or lonely, but because you’re the only one who will listen.
It hurts when you realize that your friendship was never worth their time.