Any guy dumb enough insult a woman in front of her mother had best be smart enough to run. A true mother won’t settle for a man tearing down her girls, and will wear the tennis shoes under the skirt to prove it.
Cost of a pair of bluetooth earbuds for your new iPhone 5c: $50. Cost of the iPhone 5c: $200. The look on a guy who just realized pizza and spicy ramen can be combined: priceless.
There will come a day you will talk to yourself, not because you’re crazy or lonely, but because you’re the only one who will listen.
“Carrie, hunny,” Mom said slowly. “I think you have a problem.”
Carrie didn’t answer. Her hands skimming over the pile of paperbacks, she continued placing them one by one on the shelf.
But Mom continued anyway. “You have to get rid of these books,” she said. “My livingroom’s become a library where novels check-in, but they do not check out!”
Still Carrie did not answer.
A rough slap sounded through the house as Carrie cried out. She blinked and stared at the pile. “I think you’re right, Mom.” Carrie said, finally looking up. Hope hopped into Mom’s eyes and did a jig as Carrie’s eyes fell back to her books, filled with tears. “I do have a problem.”
“I need another bookshelf.”
Also find Books in the Humor section of Prose In Bloom
“Sometimes I like to sit back…. watch the chaos ensue. That sort of thing.”
One tit leads to a tat. One touch goads a slap. A spark geared toward a gasoline heart, only tears does it start.